First, thank you you for coming to visit my blog. I decided that I would put this together for my family and friends so that I could update everyone in one place about what's going on, what we have done so far, and what's next. Also, maybe someone else that is just starting their journey with Hodgkin's may find my experiences helpful. I'm just starting myself, but I find it cathartic to write it all out.
Before we delve in, I just wanted to say that I am extremely fortunate. Hodgkin's lymphoma is one of the most curable types of cancer. If I had to have any type at all, I am extraordinarily thankful that it is this one.
A few months ago, I noticed a lump on the left side of my neck. I figured that it was likely just a swollen lymph node, and didn't think too much of it, but decided to keep an eye on it -- just in case. I mostly forgot about it, but occasionally I would do something or move in a certain way and my hands would brush against the lump, and I would think about it again. As I continued to work out and lose weight, and it became more and more visible. I finally decided that it was time to get it looked at.
Bright and early on February 20th I made my way to my appointment with my primary care doctor. He went through my chart, and examined me, asking me tons of questions. He decided to send me for blood work and a chest X-ray, and referred me to an ENT doctor.
The following Friday I met with my ENT. She examined me, felt the mass, scheduled me for a CT scan, and said that there were a few different possibilities for what it could be, including a brachial cleft cyst, an infection or lymphoma. I filled with dread when she said lymphoma. My primary care doctor had mentioned it as well, but only as a small possibility.
The wait between each appointment began to feel like an eternity... I waited another week for my CT scan, the results came back that my lymph nodes were involved and it wasn't a cyst. I had a needle biopsy done 4 days later, but the results came back as non diagnostic (not enough tissue to determine what it was) and I was scheduled for an open biopsy to remove a tissue sample for diagnosis. Then they were sent out for a second opinion. I was pretty sure when I came in the following Thursday, March 20th, that I wasn't getting good news.
I can't really describe the feeling of having your doctor tell you that you have cancer. It didn't matter that I had been mentally preparing myself for it, researching it every day obsessively and staying up every night consumed with anxiety. I was still floored. In the back of my head, a small part of me was just thankful to finally know what it is, but mostly I just sat and listened to my ENT telling me about Hodgkin's lymphoma, and referring me to my new oncologist.
I met with my oncologist yesterday, and will post all about that in a little while. In the mean time, though all of this is a bit overwhelming, I am positive that I have the strength to beat this and come through stronger than ever. Oh, and in reference to the name of this page -- A close friend mentioned earlier that the word cancer is scary and taboo... So in an effort to minimize some of that I have decided that my mass has a name, and it is Bob. How can Bob be scary?
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